Haven’t posted in a long time and thought i was a bit overdue.
So we had a baby on the way. Due date would have been July 2014.
We didnt hear a heartbeat at the first appointment. Told not to worry and we’d wait til next appointment. I still had a bit of morning sickness, really just a bit of gagginess.
Both of us were so good at taking our vitamins. Stress was being eliminated work-wise.
We were really getting ready to nest.
Then the second appointment, 13 weeks in, still no heartbeat. We went for a sonogram and
everything was there, placenta, egg sack. Just no baby. Apparently it had been reabsorbed.
At first I think Adam had hoped it was just hard to see but I knew, and when the technician went to get the doctor, I started crying.
Almost immediately I thought how am going to try again and really be healthier this time. I started taking some strides towards this already, but really want to minimize my stress as much as possible and to be healthier.
During my pregnancy, I had so little energy. And I hear this is normal, and that walking can help. I hope that there will be a next time, and i will already be back to regular exercise.
I also thought how am I going to tell people, after being so excited?
I had read how some people don’t announce their pregnancy until after X weeks. I decided to go with the way of thinking – share the joy when you have it. So many people new we were expecting. Anyway I was at 13, i thought it was safe anyway.
So we called family first, and then I posted on Facebook. It was really amazing the outpouring of love from friends. And although I was still very sad, and it doesn’t make the sadness go away, it was somehow comforting to find out how COMMON this is, and that many people I knew had miscarriages and went on to have a few kids after.
Its been tough. Had to say No to certain work projects and felt like a loser for not being able to get it all done.
Emotions were up and down. Honestly, I didnt even think of using essential oils until reminded by my friend. Clary Calm had an almost immediate effect on my well being and I woke up to the fact that I was being really hard on myself.
So not doing that anymore, thinking positive and taking things one day at a time.